i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
