I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
