It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
