Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
