he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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