we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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