she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
