My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.