Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
