What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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