I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
