she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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