I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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