True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
