dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
