So drunk its hurt
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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