did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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