Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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