omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
