Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
