I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize