Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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