I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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