i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
