Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
