with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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