I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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