**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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