super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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