but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
