i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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