she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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