how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
