I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Text me some of your sweat
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
