She just used a chaser for red wine.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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