I want to stick my p in your. b.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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