..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
