i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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