they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
