i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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