yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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