3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
