mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
