she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
