this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
