**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
