If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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