I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
