I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
