he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
