what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
