i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
