My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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