I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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