Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
