I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
