No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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