I just saw a hot homeless man
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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