just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
