Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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