East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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